It's been some time since I have been able to sit and write. Matt and I are always talking about how our days seem so long and yet time seems to go by so quickly. Several days from now, Matt and I are attending our first informational foster care/adoption meeting. I believe that I have written before that Matt and I have been praying for some time about our desire to adopt a child. I remember the second night that I met Matt and we were sitting in a little gazebo at our cousins wedding. We had been hurt in relationships before and decided to lay out our life plans for one another. This way if we weren't both "on the same page" about life we could just go our separate ways and spare ourselves the trouble of dating (This was very effective and is highly suggested for couples who first meet).
I remember us talking about our core values and beliefs and both of us saying that we thought it would be really amazing to adopt a child someday. I realize now that when I said that to Matt years ago before we even dated, God was already moving and planting seeds in our hearts. Seeds that He would nurture and then grow seven years down the road. I love how God works! Despite the fears and hesitations, the timing, and the marital issues we have had...God has clearly put it on our hearts to adopt, and it has always been his plan for us.
I am so thankful to God who is patient and faithful with his children. On our own we were too hesitant and controlling to ever come to the decision to adopt. We wanted to paint a perfect picture of what adoption should look like for our family. The perfect situation...where everything is simple and has a happy outcome. Don't misunderstand my saying we "wanted" the perfect situation before. It would be great if this was a smooth ride with little complication...little pain and little heartache. But as God has been sanctifying us we have come to understand that on this side of heaven being a true follower of Christ includes and actually requires complication, pain and heartache. In fact, 1 Peter chapter 12 is titled "Suffering as a Christian". Here God's word says,
"Beloved do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christs sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed." You notice that God is not saying "if" a fiery trial comes upon you, but "when" it does. Do not be surprised, but suffer well! Rejoice that you are able to suffer along side of your Savior for His Glory! I don't believe that we need to pray intentionally for the fiery trial to come, but we can pray for God to prepare our hearts for the time when it does. Pray for the Holy Spirit to guide us in the trial so that we can stand firm in Christ and suffer well. "...you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith, more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation for Jesus Christ" 1 Peter 1:6-8.
Trusting God and living the life of one of his followers often requires a bumpy ride, lots of complication, pain and much heartache. The hope is in knowing that we are not riding the bumpy ride or experiencing the pain alone. When answering the call to adopt we are doing so with complete trust in the strength that only God can provide. Knowing that "when" not "if" this is hard, the Lord will pour His grace on to our family and carry us through. Hebrews 4:15-16 says, "For we do now have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need."
Anytime God brings a child into our family and entrusts it to our care, it is a time filled with excitement and uncertainty. You are overwhelmed with excitement to bring new life into your home that will add to your family. The uncertainty in pregnancy can be frightening at times, yet we trust the designer and creator of the universe to knit that baby together in the womb perfectly in His image. This time for our family is also very exciting and uncertain. We can't wait to see who God has chosen for our family. We don't know if the child will be a boy or girl. We don't know where they live or if they are even born yet. We don't know if they have suffered drug or alcohol abuse from their birth mother or if they have been cared for in a proper manner. What we do know is that they are a child of God. That He has purposed their life with our family before time began. He loves us and desires that we care for orphaned children.
Although we have never adopted a child before, Matt and I were both adopted. We have been adopted into the family of God. This is not a figurative statement. We did have parents and homes before we were adopted, but we were in a very dark place. We were outside of God's family, enslaved to sin. Before Matt and I were saved we too were lost and alone. We were rebels who had turned away from God to live a life immersed in selfish ambition and sinful desires. We are still sinners and we still struggle with selfish ambition and desire, but when God adopted us into His family He provided for us a Savior, a refuge, and a Helper. He gave us hope and clothed us in righteousness through his son who suffered on our behalf. We have been adopted and now we have the chance to provide a place for a lost child as God provided a place in His kingdom for us. So you see adoption does not only apply to the orphaned children, as many think of, but to all who have put their faith in Christ. He is the most loving Father. He chose us to be a part of His family despite our wickedness and brought us in. He didn't have to. It's a beautiful picture.
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=adopted+for+life
**Matt and I are reading this book for the second time. It changed our lives when we read it the first time! It is a beautiful description of the doctrine of adoption that will help anyone in the church have a better understanding of the priority that both Christian Families and the Church must have for adoption.
Oliver and I have really been enjoying reading together this school year! Watching the excitement he has when he learns a new book is priceless. I have been spending some time learning how to teach an emergent reader because I have never done it before! I found a particularly helpful you tube video of a reading teacher instructing a small group of Kindergartners in a guided reading lesson. This along with some other phonics activities that I have acquired have been very helpful in establishing a reading routine with Oliver during our reading instruction time. I would like to share a fun reading lesson that we are working on this week!
You Tube Instructional Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpsVODqPpro
I found the book Trix The Cat on a website offering a free book for emergent readers. The link includes the printable book and also some activities that could be used throughout the week. In this particular entry I will share how I used this lesson plan throughout the week and how I tailored it to meet Oliver's learning needs.
Kinderplans.com: The Trix the Cat Printable Book
https://www.kinderplans.com/p/43/kindergarten-reading
The great thing about this book was that Oliver was able to paste the main character into the book as he read each page! He was also able to color the book when he was finished learning to read it!
Teaching Tip:
We keep all of the books that Oliver learns to read in a large zip lock bag. He knows that all of these books can be read independently and often reads them to his baby sister or to his younger brother or sister. We also open each reading session together by reading one of his books together. It is really important to offer many successful reading opportunities when kids are first beginning to read. This contributes to a real love for reading that turns into a life long love for learning!
When Oliver learned words from three different "short a" word families it became difficult for him to remember the ending sounds of each word. For example, when reading the words cap, cat, and can it was easy for Oliver to see the beginning sounds and then say the wrong ending sound in each of the words. These games have helped him to focus on the ending sounds of the words.
Fill in the Blank Word Family Game
I found the pictures for this phonics game on K-3TeacherResources.com (link below). I printed, laminated and cut out the pictures for use with many different phonics games and activities. In this activity I displayed the pictures in a pocket chart and made fill in the blank words for each picture and placed them next to their pictures. I chose to leave the last consonant out for this activity, but you could have them spell the words in a variety of games for the activity.
Link:
http://www.k-3teacherresources.com/advanced-phonic-sounds.html#.VBia5fldWSo
Pom Pom Phonics Game
In this activity you will need some kind of tray that can be divided into several categories. I found this tray at the dollar store, but an egg carton or muffin tin could be used also. At the bottom of each section I placed the "short a" word family endings that we have been working on. Oliver sat at one end of the kitchen table with a large pom pom and tossed it into the tray.
Next to the table I had a white board with a variety of "short a" words written on it. When he landed the pom pom in the tray he had to identify the word family ending and then select a word with the same ending from the white board and erase it. The aim of the game was to erase all of the words from the white board. He had a lot of fun with this game and asked to play again! This game could be used with spelling or other vocabulary words for kids of older ages.
Oliver has started reading! I have chosen to begin Oliver's reading journey with the Hooked on Phonics reading program. This learning approach has been really great for Oliver. Because Oliver is only 4 1/2 years old we are not trying to rush through this process but rather enjoy doing it together. I would like to share some of the phonics games and activities that we have been doing together during our reading time.
To begin our reading time we usually go over all of the "sight words" that we have been reviewing for the week. They are displayed in a pocket chart on the wall by our table. Then we review some of the words he is learning by reading some fun "word family" poetry that I have created.
Oliver and I go through the poem together and highlight the words that he knows. We read it together several times and focus on vocabulary, fluency and expression. We keep the poetry in a binder and it is another great place for Oliver and I to go when he feels like reading!
Teaching Tip: Right now my main focus is to make reading enjoyable for him. We spend a lot of time re-reading the stories that make him feel like a successful reader and give him a positive reading experience. When children are first learning to read keep your learning periods short and give them a lot of positive feedback. If something becomes too difficult don't be afraid to back up and review what they already know.
Phonics Poems
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1opHLB7FjwtO02mmiSPCvLnGCqMEr0hAc1LfwZ_VAvf8/edit
In the past few weeks my heart has been heavy about something that came up in a discussion I had with Matt on the couch at the end of a very long day. We were talking about "hard" things. I say it this way because I am pretty sure there were many different things we were talking about that seemed hard at the time. We started talking about our marriage and our past and began digging deep down to try and uncover some of the root problems we had been experiencing in our marriage. Warning!! When you are willing to dig deep into your messy heart you WILL run into some pretty uncomfortable things that have been hiding out in your life. Be willing to face them and fix them if you proceed.
Usually, I love these conversations. Matt and I both enjoy sitting down together and talking about the things that really make a difference in our marriage. The things that hurt but then allow us to grow even closer once we bring them to the table. On this particular night I was confronted with a deep conviction about something that I realized was a deep rooted problem in my life. Something that I always thought I understood and something that now I was realizing I didn't understand at all. Love.
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